Stuff the Shamwow guy wouldn't sell

So you wouldn't know it but I go to the OC Fairgrounds quite a bit, but it's mostly on the weekend for and out-of-the-way grocers market where I score quite a bit of deals on fruits and vegtables. So today I fill up my backpack to the brim and then some (Fair is closed next weekend so I needed to stock up) and I decided to check out the other booths.

Now I decided today to peruse the rest of The Marketplace, as it's called and I came upon and old favorite: there's several locations I call The Junk Pile and The Kitchen Junk Pile. The Junk Piles have cheap crap, just in cardboard boxes ranging in price from $1-5 dollars, depending on what the operators think the stuff is worth. Kitchen Junk Piles have just as much junk, but they're on shelves and cost more and are, by their name, used for the kitchen.

I decided today to take some pictures and show you just how odd some of this crap is. Let's take a look shall we? (Note: Most of my pictures from my camera came out crappy, so I plan on going back to get some more tomorrow. The spot I get my food from, Bruce's Produce, gives away free passes to The Marketplace if you
buy enough. I got two passes today, and my back hurts from hauling all that home in my backpack >_<)

First item is from an aforementioned Junk Pile stop. 'Specually Bath Belt' is the best engrish I seen in a while. Also more than mildy ecchi as well. Strategically placed bubbles keep it from going full hentai. What can't be seen in my pic is that this is basically a plastic washcloth, with material that looks more like a kitchen scrubber than anything I'd use on my body for bathing purposes. My guess is that those are soap bubbles, but clouds of skin ripped off by used of this thing. Not recommended, even if it is only a buck.

Next, from the Kitchen Junk, are cute little mini whisks made to look like pigs. While PigglyWiggly is how I first read it, there are no Ls in this. But, then again, a nursery rhyme about going home without supper is also not the best association to have about something used to prepare food.

Not content with just having a bagel cutter? Why not execute the sonofabitch with this sleek little device. Maybe the bagel had subversive thoughts? Murdered the cream cheese? Was looking to cause a Muffin Revolution? Yep, time to kill it in on swift move.

If I'm going to be barbecuing, I'd want more that 6 patties. But I do have to give props where they are due, as this would be the least worthless crap I found at the Kitchen Crap today. I could totally see the commercial for something like this. Oh wait, there is something similar, but only does 5 small patties:

Last but not lease I have a question to ask. Exactly at what size do they become cake rather than cupcake? I mean seriously.