The Monday Post: Time Dilation on the 10

So it's been roughly a month since I had to take an 8 hour drive to go see my mother. It wasn't one I was planning on making and I was in a rush to boot. I had a long time to think on this drive, and during this particular run I noticed something odd.

The Sword of Damocles (Mother Update)

It's not been a good month. I realize I've missed my own goal, several times, with The Monday Post. It's been nearly a month since my last post and I'd apologize if I had the energy. Quite frankly, I haven't had the energy. So, here's a summation of what's happened since my last post:

Statically Stressed

You might have noticed that I haven't posted in 2 weeks. I'm not here to apologize for this. I'm just posting so people know why.

The Monday Post: Datamancy, or How to find personal information online

I had an interesting experience of the weekend, and got a chance to you some old skills that haven't been touched in years. A good friend of mine, to remain nameless, mused about an old friend they'd lost contact with after high school. Cracking my knuckles I decided to see if I could have any luck in finding that person's whereabouts.

The Monday Post: The Adventure Continues

[Note] The auto post on this didn't work, so this is being posted on a Tuesday. Damn blogger!!!![/Note]


A year ago August I let loose something that had been growing inside me. Something so grand, for me, that I finally uprooted myself and moved to another state. (warning, long post ahoy!)

The Monday Post: Challenge Yourself

So, while I have 2 weeks off from school (but not my job), I've decided to spend that time relaxing. Just kidding. I've realized that I want to keep my skills sharp. So I'm going to enter myself into the Ludum Dare that starts this Friday. What the hell is this? In a nutshell (or In a Nuts Hell, depending on where you put the spaces):

• 48 hours to complete, from scratch a game
• Theme is finalized on last day. You must make the game in the theme
• You must work on your own, in the time limit. That means design, code, and *gasp* art
• If you have pre-existing files that jump start you, you have to share them
• You share your game and source code at the end.
• After the comp is done, 3 weeks of playing and voting

So, if you see me on Facebook or some other chat over the coming weekend say hi. If I don't say it back, it might be because I'm cursing at my computer. I might try to stream part of it on Justin.Tv but I'm not sure yet. Wish me luck!

The Monday Post: Nearly Final

So I am a bit busy with my finals for this semester. It donned on me, however, that this is the end of my first year of schooling. Almost a year ago I took a chance. I realized, during the lead up to my move, that I'd been stuck in a holding pattern. I had no significant other (despite trying), no family even from that, and nothing... NOTHING holding me back. And nothing holds me back now except getting through my schooling. I literally have no idea where I will go after I graduate. I have another year or so to go on that, and I have a wide berth of options. Shit, I have a published game, my name in the credits, and I'm only my 3rd semester in.

It's not quite a year yet, however. I left August 29th, 2011. So expect a kind of retrospective in 2 weeks or so around that date.

For now, be seeing you!.

The Monday Post: Arithmetic Horrors

So I didn't exactly post last week and I have only one thing to say to that fact: It's near the end of the semester and a LOT of classes are ramping up for that end work-wise. In other words, stress. And going a little insane with mathematics as well.

The Monday Post: Nope

Sorry, have too much to do, and completely forgot about the post this week. Shit, I've had so little time I'm doing my laundry right now (a boon for having a 24hr laundry room on campus). See you guys next week.

The Monday Post: Daytime at Dark

So it's early-to-mid summer here in Arizona now and we've gotten to the point where we see high 90s to low 100s during the night. For those having heatwaves, even ones in the national news, may I kindly ask you to go away and kindly take your pansy whining with you.

The Monday Post: Clang, thud?

I just saw a post reminding me about the Kickstarter campaign by one of my favorite authors, Neal Stephenson. The elevator pitch is he's going to create a game and framework for sword fighting games the way that racing games have their own peripherals. Fine controlled motion capture and swords. How can that go wrong?

The Monday Post: D&D Dice Probabilities

So I was playing my weekly game this week of Dungeons and Dragons when I was presented a rather odd opportunity for my character: I Cleric was (literally) flying overhead of my character about 30 feet (thanks to a potion of flight) and the best my fighter could think of to do was throw his 2-Handed Bastard sword up like a spear to try to hit the cleric. I needed a natural 20 to hit. I got an 18. I missed, but not by much.

The Monday Post: Programmer's Mind II - "Is A" vs. "Has A"

I had this planned out in my head for weeks. See, I've taken to looking at some old code for games others have written and I actually got into a stonewalling argument when trying to get around to fixing it.

The Monday Post: Stress Relief D&D

Long post ahead!

The Monday Post: What it's like to be a programmer

Ok so I'm a bit off on my timing for a Monday post. I'm knee deep in coding/homework and such. So here's a quick look into the mind of a programmer:

The Monday Post: Big Huge's Big Layoffs

 So, less than 2 years ago I made this post, and more importantly took these two photos:

This was my first taste of what was to become... well let me tell you what happened this week. Baseball player Curt Schilling's 38 Studios and developer Big Huge Games shut their doors. Just... *slam*, you're gone, GTFO. Curt himself was seen driving off, box in the passenger seat of his BMW. Sadly, the shuttered employees (all 400 or so) aren't so lucky.

I have to sit back here for a moment, and realize I could be one of them in the future. BHG and 38 were paid quite a bit by Rhode Island to move there, but in the end they couldn't pay back that loan. All for making a game that I had high hopes for, but ultimately failed to deliver*.

Best wishes to the families of those laid off. Best of luck for myself to have a backup plan, a fall back plan, and backup contingencies for each. I hope.


*Before you question my thoughts, the only way to that game could have broken even would have been a 90+ rating. The 6.0 user score (at the time of this writing) is just the final nail in the coffin.

The Universe and I

I wrote this a few days ago, and I have no idea where it was going or even why I wrote it. I figured I'd post it so it gets out of my system.

The Monday Post - Randomly Generated Games

So I'm still not sure of a title format so bear with me, this is a new setup.

This is a little deeper but at the same time less thought out than some of my exploratory posts (the ones dealing with being an introvert I mean). I've been thinking about what games I always come back to and want to play. I don't mean the fact that I have GTA:Vice City with a fully unlocked save currently installed. I use that to blow off steam (when you know the right cheat codes you can blow up the whole fucking island and get away with it... and you know that feels so damn good).

No, I'm speaking of games that are new and different every time you come to them. I'm talking about the Rouge-like RPG. Whasat? You don't know them? Oh boy oh boy time for me to deluge you with links:

• Wikipedia on Roguelikes
• NetHack: The best, still updated text based version.
• Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup: A more graphical version of the above.
• Dungeons of Dredmor: Massively fun and difficult graphical roguelike. I'd almost say it redefines the genre.
• Desktop Dungeons: A mix of Rogue and Minesweeper. Meant to be played quick, and is brutal because of it.

I have to say what I get and like about games like this is that though the base game is the same, every time I start a new level or character my priorities have to change with it. Dredmor is a good example, where I'll find myself running into a Deth (think Death, the Grim Reaper or sorts) on the first floor. I damn well know I can't fight toe to toe at that low a level but I've got my fire spells. In another game I might never run into one. I honestly don't think I've been below the 3rd floor ever in a game, but I continue to play.

I might have a more thought out post in the future, so this one is just a teaser. Be seeing you.

The Monday Post - May 14 2012

Yeah so I was going to try to have a post made about what is on my mind the past week, as promised before. The problem being that the only thing on my mind today was:

I don't always get headaches, but when I do, they are fucking head splitters. Today's was bad enough I stayed in from class. It was also bad enough to cause me mild nausea, thought that could have been other things, I'm not sure. I've spent most of the day sleeping. I don't like this, makes me feel like I've wasted a day.

Sick and Insomnia

Yeah, remember my last post where I was hoping to go out more? Kinda got bronchitis as of last night. Which means 1-2 weeks of coughing. And being hopped up on cough meds.

Soooooooo, rather than waste this opportunity brought on by insomnia I thought I'd just post some things that are on my mind, 2 days into this semester's classes.

The highs and lows right now.

This is gong to be a long update, get a cup of tea or something.

A Rough Approximation of Arizona Seasons

Click for larger version

Programming Bugs (not what you think it is)

Not many may know this but I have this thing I call the "Programming Bug". It's like an itch that must, I mean must be scratched, only in computer form. It's one of those moments where a small part of my brain says "you must make this program... I WILL YOU TO MAKE THIS NOW", and I become kinda helpless unless I obey.

In passing, my grandmother's obituary

Lorene Pannell Choate Ill, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and sister, is a new angel, received by the heavens Monday Jan. 9, 2012. She is being met by her family with open arms as she was the key to our family. Service: 10 a.m. Friday at Blessing Funeral Home. Interment: Pleasant Point Cemetery. Visitation: 6 to 8 p.m. Thursday at Blessing. She was born Aug. 27, 1931, in Kennedale as the oldest of nine children. Her parents were Susie Mae Lawler Pannell and Hubert Condor Pannell. Lorene lived most of her life in the Metroplex. She worked in the food service area at various locations in Fort Worth, such as the old Texas Hotel, Don Carter's Bowling Alley, The Lonestar Drive-In and Ramada Inn. Her last job before retirement was at the Walmart in Mansfield, where she worked in the fabric area. Lorene was an avid bowler. She bowled at Meadowbrook Lanes for many years. When the new Don Carter's Bowling Alley opened, she bowled on many different leagues over the years. She was a member of the Ladies Traveling League for many years and traveled to a different bowling lane each month. Her time was spent watching soap operas and keeping up with all her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She was always doing some kind of needlework, either embroidery or crochet. She was a born gambler. If you said Las Vegas or Shreveport, she was ready to go. She got her numbers every week for the Lotto, Mega Millions, Pick 3 and Pick 4. Lorene got excited just because she won $3 on one of her tickets. Lorene was preceded in death by her sons, Mark Randall Choate and Carl William Choate Jr.; and husbands, Bill Choate and Pete Ill. Survivors: Daughters, Joyce LaHue and husband, John, of Alvarado, Debra J. Sandefur and husband, Clyde, of Bakersfield, Calif., and Barbara G. Allen of Shelbyville, Tenn.; sons, Steven Choate of Wolfe City and Douglas Choate of Midwest, Okla.; daughter-in-law, Shelah Choate of Garland; brothers, Edwin Pannell and wife, Jo, of Vallejo, Calif., Tommy Pannell and wife, Lynn, of Joshua and Dan Pannell and wife, Merilea, of Weatherford; 23 grandchildren; and 30 great-grandchildren.

Lorene Pannell Choate Ill Obituary: View Lorene Ill's Obituary by Star-Telegram

Sadness in Passing

So late last evening Granny was taken off her life support and was woken up. Against certain odds for a while she was doing well. There was talk even of moving her from her nursing home back to the hospital to be cared for better.

That hope, sadly, passed. Though some miscommunication we'd received the word hours before the event actually happened. However, as of an hour ago, she passed on. I will miss my Granny, Susie Lorene Pannell dearly, and for the rest of my own life.

Feeling Sad

For as long as I can remember I've only had one grandparent, Granny Lorene. On my mother's side my grandfather died 6 or so years before I was born. My paternal grandmother as well passed before I was born. I have a single memory of Granpa Sandefur (again on my father's side). I had to have been 2 or 3 and remembered looking up at this tall man that had the whitest hair I'd seen to date. I mean STARK white. And all I could think of was, at this young age, "Who is this guy with white hair and why does he talk to me so much?" No, really, I remember that feeling. Again, however, this was a fleeting image in my mind, as he died before I really was able to bond and form memories with him.

So this leaves but the mother of my mother: Granny Lorene. Don't you dare call her Grandmother, it was Granny. I don't know what I can say about her without having to take a year to fill pages upon pages. Sadly that's time I don't have. I got the call at 11:30am today, a sunny Sunday morning in Arizona. The past 3 years or so Granny has been in a nursing home due to her pulmonary problems. This past weekend an email went out that she was being put on a respirator due to a bout of pneumonia. And now.... she's being taken off the machine and most likely will not make it through the night.

I'm sitting here in my dorm room right now. I closed the blinds and put on some jazz (thank you Spotify) and have been trying to pick up my brain to write this in between fits of sobbing. When a mainstay in your life, the fact that you have a grandparent at least. When something like this comes down the line the stress it causes... I will be fine, if only because I still have other family and friends to see me through.