The Sword of Damocles (Mother Update)

It's not been a good month. I realize I've missed my own goal, several times, with The Monday Post. It's been nearly a month since my last post and I'd apologize if I had the energy. Quite frankly, I haven't had the energy. So, here's a summation of what's happened since my last post:

• Shortly after the last post, I got a call from both my sisters whom put mom on the phone. When you mother tells you, in a drugged/slurred voice "You need to come see me" you just do. I was at my friend/business partner Jake's at the time, beer in hand trying to calm my nerves. I drove out first thing the next morning (would have taken Jake up on him driving me out right then, but felt it would be bad if he got stuck up there with me for an unknown amount of time). I went, I talked to her, I stayed the night. Came back
• On the way back I got horrible news: CAT Scan showed a blockage in my mother's small intestines, she was due to emergency surgery. She, in the end, had quite a lot of of the intestines removed but had gotten around the blockage. That was caused by a kinking of the hose, it getting bound up in scar tissue from a few of my mother's surgeries.
• Though clear of the last item, we found out something worse. We (family) had mentioned to the surgeon about my mother's constant hospitalizations with high ammonia levels. To be sure, she's been in and out of the ER about 7 times before because of it. So, while she was there on the operating table, he decided to check in on her liver. Cirrhosis. VISIBLE cirrhosis. A biopsy was taken of it to see how far it progressed. By this point I was at home, so it took it a bit hard.
• Over the next few weeks my mother's health did improve, to an extent. There was a slurring in her voice, a possible indication of neurological damage incurred from brain swelling while in a coma for 6 days. "She's doing better" was usually followed with a ", but" in dialog about her. Biopsy had come back as stage 4 liver failure, or the beginnings of it.While things were looking up, this was most distressing.
• This last Saturday afternoon, while I was at work, I happened to look down at my phone (usually on silent while at work) to find out I'd gotten several phone calls and text messages. The short of it: My mother was on her way back to ICU for shallow breathing when they decided to do an EKG. She was in the midst of a heart attack O_O She's out of danger on that, but as much as her bloodwork is getting better it's still not "good" or "OK"
  

So that's where I stand right now. I'm sick: Sore throat that started weeks ago blew up on Saturday evening, and is stress induced (see last item above). Days later I can only somewhat talk, and fear the scraping burn of coughing. For as much as people tell me to keep a positive attitude about things I still feel like Dionysius, affixing a sword on a string above the banquet of any Damoclese that wishes to feast from my table. I have my finger over a panic button, ready to jet off at a moments notice to take that 8 hour drive again (which, at some point, a post I've mentally called "Time Dilation on the 10" will be written at some point). I'll try to write more, but I've got a lot on my mind that can't be put to words right now.