A Rough Approximation of Arizona Seasons

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Programming Bugs (not what you think it is)

Not many may know this but I have this thing I call the "Programming Bug". It's like an itch that must, I mean must be scratched, only in computer form. It's one of those moments where a small part of my brain says "you must make this program... I WILL YOU TO MAKE THIS NOW", and I become kinda helpless unless I obey.

Osama's death, in funny pictures

So, as in my last post I really don't have a huge amount to write about on Osama Bin Laden's death. It's odd that I am this speechless about politics, as 90% of my blog ends up being about political subjects.

Moving away from that the saying 'a picture is worth a thousand words' has been no truer than in this man's death, so without further ado I submit to you a brief collection of some of the funnier ones I ran into over the past few days. Funnier is in italics because my humor is a bit warped ~_^:

Interesting finds at work

Just to show you how much I find in the world to talk about I'd like to share with you something I recently found. Stuck amongst literal piles of computer waiting to go back to the manufacturer I stumbled upon this. I have to assume it was left in someones old laptop bag and got into the mess we had. Just take a look, if you will:

Yeah... this is some high level, Christian whacknuttiness. This was all just one page, under the pile of laptops I was putting together to ship out. I stared at it for a little bit and though "Are there really people who read this?" Sadly, yes there are else no one would have a Xeroxed copy of it.

General Mutton Chops, or How to Completely Own at Trivial Pursuit

Meant to put this blog post up but got lost in a shuffle. So anyways NYE was a fun time over at my sister Crystal's home with some of our friends. One friend brought a new, unwrapped Trivial Pursuit game. This one was odd, as the colors were not the category but each card had its own category.

So we had a "Kids vs Adults" game, two teams. Mid-game we came up for a wedge piece and pick "Facial Hair" card. The question was a picture one:

Who is this man and what facial hair style did he lend his name to?

We, the adults, were actually stumped for a while. We began asking "Those are mutton chops, right?" It was at this moment that my mind subconsciously started bringing the answer up. I asked "But I don't remember a General Mutton in the Civil War or anything, do you?"

I cannot explain how my mind works like this. I am, at heart, and archiver of knowledge. And when I get into a situation where trivial trivia works to my advantage it feels like a Chechov's Skill (Which is a sub-trope of Chechov's Gun. Warning, do not click either link as the TV Tropes vortex can suck up hours of time click-read-clicking-reading). 

Moving back to the story, slowly but surely the story of General Ambrose Burnside came up in my brain. And the credit for coining the term Sideburns to describe, well, sideburns. I mean look at him up there. That's like 4 inches of hair there. It's no wonder they named it after him. And yes, we got the question right, I danced around since we won a wedge (Adults ultimately won as well by the end of the night).

This event also brings me back to the memory of another holiday (this time Christmas) game of Trivia Pursuit (and again with same sister). The question was "What folk singer turned rocker bla bla bla"... I don't remember the rest of the question because that wasn't how I answered it. I just thought, what other person other than Bob Dylan is famous for switching musical styles from folk to rock?

Random Crap I Find in the World

So I really have been searching, when I go to my local swap meet, through the Crap Pile and Kitchen Crap locations looking for oddities. Their stock doesn't change enough for me to find enough to make a full post on. On the other hand, I do find myself taking pictures (bad ones, I really need a smartphone) of other things I find funny/odd/scary and figured I could make a post with all of them. So here it goes.

An Artful Return: Keith Returns to Countdown in style

I'm just going to let Keith tell his story, he does it much better. Though of note I was a bit wrong about stumping for one of this donations, but it doesn't pan out as he donated after the person was on air not before. Keith will explain it better, just watch (oh and it's funny too ^_^)

I'm not making this up: Michael Jackson MMO in the works

The only thing I can think to say to this damn idea is "let the man rest in piece already!" But no, someone won't, and this monstrosity comes out of that:

[Planet Michael Website]

My brain hurts thinking about this. I can only imagine the activities this thing will have inside:

• Bribe the parents to keep quiet
• How to tell time (the big hand goes over the little hand)
• Baby catcher (failed in beta, Michael never dropped the kid)
• Military Fashion Designer
• Guess the Surgery
• Monkey Pet Rescue

I could keep going on with the jokes but it would be besides the point. This, honestly, is a money grab on the dead man's fame. This is just as bad, if not worse, than anything that happened to Elvis since his own death.

I ain't scared of the 13th

I am not, to put it in a long winded way, triskaidekaphobic (from Greek: tris = 3, kai = and, deka = 10). I have fun, though, with days like this. I find superstition fascinating (just about as much as chemistry or politics, or gaming). All in all I have to say I am either a reverse jinx or somehow protected from superstitious harm. Perhaps because I was born on Halloween? Or maybe that just explains why I'm so damn weird XD.

I seem to flaunt bad luck charms wherever I go. I have for instance, as a child, owned one of these:

Mine was named Phidoux (you pronounce it 'Fido' in French)

I've walked under countless ladders (well, ones tall enough for me to fit under). I have done so many things I should be having the largest run of bad luck next to the Chicago Cubs. I actually have this book, and read through it for things I hadn't tried yet:

It has a horse, a rainbow, and an eagle on the front. Therefore it must be new age.

So basically, I have a field day on Friday the 13th. I see how many people I can spook. I have to admit, it's only a few :(

Driving Grandpa around in the La-Z-Boy

I love the "used parts" painted on the side. Make me think they're driving the guy to the ER and he has an organ donor card XD

Stuff the Shamwow guy wouldn't sell

So you wouldn't know it but I go to the OC Fairgrounds quite a bit, but it's mostly on the weekend for and out-of-the-way grocers market where I score quite a bit of deals on fruits and vegtables. So today I fill up my backpack to the brim and then some (Fair is closed next weekend so I needed to stock up) and I decided to check out the other booths.

Now I decided today to peruse the rest of The Marketplace, as it's called and I came upon and old favorite: there's several locations I call The Junk Pile and The Kitchen Junk Pile. The Junk Piles have cheap crap, just in cardboard boxes ranging in price from $1-5 dollars, depending on what the operators think the stuff is worth. Kitchen Junk Piles have just as much junk, but they're on shelves and cost more and are, by their name, used for the kitchen.

I decided today to take some pictures and show you just how odd some of this crap is. Let's take a look shall we? (Note: Most of my pictures from my camera came out crappy, so I plan on going back to get some more tomorrow. The spot I get my food from, Bruce's Produce, gives away free passes to The Marketplace if you
buy enough. I got two passes today, and my back hurts from hauling all that home in my backpack >_<)

First item is from an aforementioned Junk Pile stop. 'Specually Bath Belt' is the best engrish I seen in a while. Also more than mildy ecchi as well. Strategically placed bubbles keep it from going full hentai. What can't be seen in my pic is that this is basically a plastic washcloth, with material that looks more like a kitchen scrubber than anything I'd use on my body for bathing purposes. My guess is that those are soap bubbles, but clouds of skin ripped off by used of this thing. Not recommended, even if it is only a buck.

Next, from the Kitchen Junk, are cute little mini whisks made to look like pigs. While PigglyWiggly is how I first read it, there are no Ls in this. But, then again, a nursery rhyme about going home without supper is also not the best association to have about something used to prepare food.

Not content with just having a bagel cutter? Why not execute the sonofabitch with this sleek little device. Maybe the bagel had subversive thoughts? Murdered the cream cheese? Was looking to cause a Muffin Revolution? Yep, time to kill it in on swift move.

If I'm going to be barbecuing, I'd want more that 6 patties. But I do have to give props where they are due, as this would be the least worthless crap I found at the Kitchen Crap today. I could totally see the commercial for something like this. Oh wait, there is something similar, but only does 5 small patties:

Last but not lease I have a question to ask. Exactly at what size do they become cake rather than cupcake? I mean seriously.

Kids Grow Up So Fast These Days

So let me get this straight. Kid misses bus. Kid wants/needs to get to school (fears missing school, or at least the punishment from it). Kid get in the car.

Break in my logic here: Kid got keys from where and why the parents weren't out yet (could be later in the day jobs I guess *shrug*)

Continuing: Kid gets in car, and drives. Experience? Not a simulator. No, this child learned to drive the best say. Grand Theft Fucking Auto! Oh and Monster Truck Jam, but we're talking a car here not Bigfoot.

Oh, and he didn't' use the safe house either: two 90s, two ditches, and a telephone pole. Then... ya know some kids must like school more than I did... he gets out and keeps walking to school. That, right there, is determination. Also proves he played one of the GTA series before #3. I could never jack cars that well in the game and for the life of me I don't know why.

Police spend £35,000, looks like old logo

So I decided (subconsciously, it seems) to take a minor vacation after the election. With that said, lets move on.

How can you not sue (yes I speak as a Yankee in this case, the story being from the mother country) the consulting firm that hands you a new logo you paid $52K (£35) for and its effectively the SAME as the old logo? The crown's color is the only change that I can find.

Actually, that might be too good for this case. Hung by genitalia is more in order ^_^

I'm just geeky enough to laugh

This is what I get for being a chem major out of highschool: Full on ROFL ^_^

Fox 1, SUV 0

I have a soft spot for foxes. They really are beautiful creatures. Especially Red and Arctic ones (but mostly the reds). Call them my Totems in a pagan sense.

So anyways, I'm reading through my RSS feeds and I land on this article about a 'dead' fox causing an SUV wreck. It took me a couple of reads to really make my mind up on this article, emotions and all.

SUV hits fox and stops. -1 for SUV, but at least he stopped. Driver (named Fox, coincidentally) takes fox thinking it dead, +1 for SUV. Fox isn't dead +1 fox. And causes driver to crash. - 1 fox. So at this point I'm thinking dead even, karmic balance at work.

Then I reread the article. The guy wanted the tail? WTF? He doesn't deserve it! So -1 SUV, and since there can be no negative score at the end, fox is instead awarded 1 point. It did die in the end, maybe from crash maybe from being hit. But that bastard did not deserve the tail. Or any tail as far as I'm concerned ~_^

Why am I finding this cute... why???

Follow it here

Craigslist used for decoy in robbery

This HAS to be the most amazing usage of Craigslist I have ever heard of. 

So a robber sent a job opening request for a roadside work project in Monroe, WA for $28.50/hr (hell I would have taken something like this up for that kind of money). Those that inquired were asked to show up at a Band of America, wearing "yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask… and, if possible, a blue shirt." He manages to get 12 or so to sign up for this.

Robber shows up in same attire, pepper-sprays the armored car driver, and nabs a sack of cash. As if that wasn't enough hilarity, the man has escaped... by riding down a nearby creak in a fucking inner tube that had been placed at the ready.

I know I shouldn't condone robbery but... bravo motherfucker, bravo. Can I have some of whatever you smoked when you came up with this? Thanks ^_^

Topics

So this post will remain until I use at least one of the 'labels' *cough*tags*cough* below, mostly as these will be the main tags I use (all others will be secondary)

Guess I could fill this post up with what they mean:

• Technology: things that make the IT world go around
  
• Games: I play way too many, and have opinions on them
  
• Music: Releases, controversies, karaoke
  
• Politics: Decline To State liberal and how I see htings
  
• Life: Things happening to me, where I'll be, things I'll do, shit like that.
  
• News: General news items, or things that don't fit the next catagory (or the above ones)
  
• Oddball: Oddball his hosted by our good friend Sum Ting Wong. Things in the news, tech, life et. al. that are not quite what you would think they would be.
  
• Parting Shots: Kinda my 'followup' tag... I mean label. Used when I do a post, well, following up on a topic I've previously posted about.